Well this one was more like a God “Caveman Club over the Head!” I envision one of those caveman cartoon pictures clubbing me over the head and dragging me off so that I’d “GET IT!” Well, I GOT IT!
It started a couple of weeks ago while I was at a Beth Moore Conference in Maine, the message continued at my Small Group study, really touched base at a seminar 2 days after that and pretty much culminated when during a recent prayer time with God He hit me over the head (not literally of course) and told me to “stop giving HIM assignments!” YUP! What was I thinking??? Giving God Assignments?! What kind of arrogance I must have. Luckily God doesn’t see it that way.
I pray every day, throughout the day I talk to God, I read my Bible, I serve, I do all of the things that I believe are the right thing to do to bring God glory and to live my life in accordance with His will. Philippians 4:6 instructs us to pray about everything and present our request to God. In 1 John 5:14-15, we learn that God does answer our prayers, not always in our timing and not always the way we want Him to but He does. BUT, was I praying that God COMPLETELY empty me of myself so that I could be filled with HIM and HIS will for me? The answer is NO.
I was giving God assignments! How many of us do that, we pray, “God if you can do this, I’ll be able to…..” “God, I don’t want to burden you with all of my needs, if you can just help me with…..” “God, I know you want me to do……., can you please make it possible for this to happen?” What are these things? Yes, it’s pretty clear, I was giving God assignments.
I do believe that God knows my heart, I don’t think He was angry with me, I know He’s answered my prayers time and time again over the years, I am so completely blessed and I give God all of the glory and honor for that. I believe, however, that God is teaching me a new lesson and clearly it’s time I learned it. If we are going to continue to grow to TRUST HIM, to HONOR HIM, to LIVE HIS WILL and grow on our path, we need to continually learn these lessons and integrate them into who we are and how we are going to become more Christ Like.
God has shown us time and time again how much He loves us, He made the ultimate sacrifice for us yet we are so, well let’s face it, we are human and forget that HE’S GOD. Beth Moore really challenged me recently when she taught us from Numbers 14 about the Israelites who doubted God after He showed them through a multitude of ways how much He loved them. It frustrated Moses and angered God. I certainly do not want to anger God! How can I doubt what HE is capable of doing or question what HE WANTS to do for me when HE CREATED IT ALL, including my life which is His and was in His plan from before I was born! It isn’t up to me, it never was, God will dole out the assignments and it is up to me to be completely open to what He has in store for me. God’s promise is certain and it is quite clear that HE is capable of far more than I can think or imagine (Ephesians 3:20)! So the assignment is for me to empty myself so that I can be filled with God’s love and plan for my life.
From now on I will be sure to not just say the words but to live my life completely open to God, and if there is a word that means more than complete, insert it here, because that is how I want to live my life utterly completely for HIM. It doesn’t mean that I will not have specific requests of God but what it does mean is that I will be praying to understand what HIS will is in my life with a particular circumstance, rather than me praying for what I think HE should make the outcome. I will not assume that I could do ANY of life without walking through it with Jesus by my side. When I say everything, I mean it!! I feel like God is taking great delight in this. It has brought me happiness and peace; it has been a new experience for me on my path to grower closer to Jesus. God has given me an assignment, it’s ongoing, it’s lovely and it brings a real sense of joy while I am living it out.
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