It was strange for me though because the doctor and her assistant spent A LOT of time with me, going over every detail of the records and inspecting every inch of me, taking pictures of things they want to "watch" etc. I asked them if they were always so careful, they said, yes but with someone with my history they have to be even more meticulous. My history?? I wondered about that. She must have seen the look on my face. She told me I was very lucky to be alive today, a lot of people who had the level of melanoma I had do not have 13 years without a recurrence and many do not even survive.
I never think about it, I never thought about it to begin with, it never even occurred to me that I could die from my prognosis back then. Over the years I've talked about it from time to time but never REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT. I remember Mike was really scared, we had just started dating, completely in love and apparently he didn't want to lose me. He never understood my blissful ignorance to the issue at hand, despite multiple surgeries and numerous follow up doctor appointments and various other minor procedures, I never, not once, thought I had a major problem.
I think the reality of today and what happened 13 years ago hit me for the first time as a lesson to me. On our way home, I looked at my little girl and my husband and reflected on the last 13 years, the good, the very bad, the laughter and the tears and realized once again, that it is all God's plan. God GAVE ME my health back, HE GAVE ME the opportunity to be what HE wanted me to be and to truly appreciate the gift of life and the blessings that HE continues to pour out in my life all the time.
I think about a friend who recently lost a long battle with Cancer and his words, that he wasn't dying of Cancer, he "LIVED" with Cancer. He knew that God was working in him and through him and he lived everyday in complete understanding of what his purpose was, he worked to carry out God's plan in his life. His eternity was secure and he knew that every day was a gift from God and his gift back to God was to allow God to use him to help others understand that they can also find God in and through all of the difficulties in life.
None of us know what will be cause us to have our last breath here, or when it will be but we can CHOOSE to know where our next breath will be when our last breath happens here. I am so grateful to GOD for allowing me not to die 13 years ago blissfully ignorant. The reality would have been awful for all eternity. God gives us every day, EVERY SINGLE DAY to choose HIM, to CHOOSE LIFE IN HIM for eternity. I know that now, I know that I have been blessed beyond anything that I ever thought or imagined, how can I waste even one second of this gift??
Thank you God for all of my blessings, thank you for giving me understanding, for giving me knowledge, for giving me LIFE!!! I will be, quite literally, ETERNALLY grateful. My prayer is that you continue to use me, work through me to bring you glory, to make sure that people are not living blissfully ignorant of what happens next. Whether they are in good situations or bad may they realize that it can be ALL GOOD in eternity because it's all GOD!!
Psalm 23:6
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. (NIV)
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